February 17, 2012
First let me give you a little background. For some reason, I had in the past 3 years or so convinced myself that it was a possibility that we might have a little trouble getting pregnant. We were very blessed for that not to have happened and let me just say now that I have absolutely no idea what that pain would feel like. I can't even imagine. The reason I had convinced myself so was that I had always had irregular periods growing up (sorry if this is TMI), which is why I went on birth control pills at 18. I would have months and months without a period and then it would last 3 weeks long then it would be regular, than not come again, so on and so forth.
Then early in 2010 I was changing birth control brands to go to a generic cheaper brand. It took a few weeks for the prescription to get in, so my doctor just told me to wait until I got my period, then start it. Three months later, still no period. However looking back I now realize this was one of the most stressful times of my life. We had just moved back to Indiana from Cleveland, I had started my old job back and jumped right into busy season where we worked an extreme amount of hours. I was still in my first year of marriage, and was juggling trying to cook dinner, keep a clean house, and work all these hours - oh and see my hubby here and there! After taking multiple negative pregnancy tests my doctor told me to go ahead and start the pill.
Well, fast forward to last summer, we decided it would be time for me to stop taking birth control and see if we could get pregnant. I was so worried inside, what if I didn't get my period again? I prayed about it constantly and what do you know, 35 days later it arrived! Never did I think I would be so excited to get my period, especially when we were trying, haha! I was so so relieved. Then as the weeks and months went by, my periods were not consistent and I got a few negative pregnancy tests. I was always just worried in the back of my mind, what if I can't get pregnant? I guess I just figured since I have had such a great life and been so blessed so far, maybe this is the thing that won't work out?
Updated 3/5/12: I am not trying to say that I got my period because I prayed for it. I am trying to say that praying to God gave me peace during the process. It kept me from being consumed by it all. It kept me positive, knowing that no matter what, in the end of it all, if I was able to get pregnant or not, it would all work out. And for the better - to His plan.
Then I read this post: Take it away God! I knew what He was trying to tell me, give it up to Him! READ THIS POST! Whenever I would start to let myself worry, I would remember, Satan is the one planting these thoughts in my head! I will not give him control. If you ever feel yourself slipping, read this post.
Thankfully now I am pregnant, and I know my fear was stupid and inaccurate. I am blessed so far to not have been consumed with worry about the baby's health or if something will go wrong. But anytime I do, I try to remind myself to surrender it to God. He is all powerful and gives total peace. He has my best interest in mind and already knows how this is all going to work out. My advice is that you remember that and surrender everything to Him. There is no comfort like Him.